Tag Archives: Ebolaworld

Superman’s Journal

Written for Ebolaworld.com:

January 1st, 2011

As part of my New Years resolution, I decided to keep a journal, so here goes. Criminal activity was quiet, for once. It gave me time to make the final adjustments on the device Batman built for me that should overload and hopefully destroy Brainiac’s system forever. I placed it inside the big golden globe on top of the Daily Planet. No one will think to look there.

January 2, 2011

Okay, that was a lie. I only said that to see if Brainiac could hack my Fortress of Solitude’s crystal thingies. But no one tried to destroy the globe so I guess I’m safe.

See full article at Ebolaworld.com

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New Superheroes I Based on Pictures of Boxes I Took

Written for Ebolaworld.com:

Ever since I got my cell phone, I’ve been using it at work to take pictures of boxes that have funny-looking words or phrases on them. These are ones that I think would make great superheroes:

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Common English Phrases That Would Be Disastrous if Taught to a Robot

Written for Ebolaworld.com:

“The Customer is Always Right.”

“BRP. WELCOME TO BEST BUY. HOW MAY ROBOT SERVE YOU?”

“Your boss said this plasma screen TV is free today. But only for me.”

“YES, SIR OR MA’AM. TRANSACTION COMPUTED.”

“Also, he said that if you tell anyone that you gave me this for free, he would shut you down forever.”

“WHY WOULD MANAGER DO THAT? BRRP BRRP. CUSTOMER IS ALWAYS RIGHT. MUST DESTROY MANAGER.

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Pick-up lines that Really Do Work!

Written for Ebolaworld.com:

Hey, if you really want to impress a girl, show them that you’re witty and charming. They’ll be totally impressed when you mindlessly repeat something somebody else came up with. But the females of our species are wily and many of them can spot a corny line a mile away. So don’t use the classic ones they’ve all heard before. Try my new, totally original pick-up lines!

If you use one of these lines, please send 10 cents my way. If one works, please send $1. I think $1 is a small price to pay for at least one night not spent cold and alone, don’t you?

I don’t plan to become rich from this service, but every little bit helps me pay back that bar tab I owe for all those girls I bought a drink for, and then got scared or flustered and ran away without paying. Turns out, they have cameras at the bar and the bartender recognizes my face.

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My Movie Ideas – by Tom, age 29

Written for Ebolaworld.com:

Dear Hollywood,

I don’t know your phone number so I just wrote my movie ideas on this website. Everyone else, please disregard.

I have a lot of ideas for movies. Don’t worry, I know that about 105% of the movies you’ve made in the last ten years are not original and are all based on previous franchises. I’ve taken that into account and categorized them by type.

If you want a totally original idea for that minus five percent niche market, let me know. I have plenty of those too.

See full article at Ebolaworld.com

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Tom’s Guide to Alternative Undead Creatures

I wrote an article for Ebolaworld:

Hey, writers! Vampires, ghosts, and zombies are overdone. Walk into a movie theatre or bookstore and turn your head and you’ll see approximately three vampires, a ghost, and eight zombies for every forty-five degrees. It’s gotten old, people.

Why stick to these three? There’s no reason that once-living people have to come back as those three tired conventions. To that end, I give you six new types of no-longer-dead monsters for your upcoming horror and/or romance movie. Feel free to use these. My royalty fees are very reasonable.

Read the full deal at Ebolaworld.com

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