Basic premise of the game:
You are Spiderman. Yeah,
bitch! And as Spiderman, you must heroically
endeavour to uphold the great responsibility that comes with super-human
spider abilities. Namely, you need to mutilate everything that crosses
your path without mercy.
Along the way, you'll be fighting:
Speaking of evil, let's get to the villians.
The Sinister Six are at it again.
They have unfolded an evil plan that . . . you know,
I don't think they have an evil plan. Spiderman just feels the need to
infiltrate their hideouts and lay waste to everything that can move.
Spiderman, do you see these nice people? They're your
friends. They're going to take you where there are no more super villians
and you can wear your pyjamas all day long.
Seriously, kids. Spiderman is in need of psychological
treatment. You could be next.
GRAPHICS
The intermission graphics are the primary selling point.
The actual in-game graphics aren't so great as the animations are. This
is where the fun really comes in. Spiderman jumps, flips, punches, shoots
web, swings from rooftop to rooftop, and he even has an impressive super-powerful
jumpkick.
Observe. First he jumps.
And then . . .
He kicks! Wow, that was amazing!
You can expect nothing less from Spiderman.
SOUND
The only sound effects that you're liable to notice are
the sound of Spiderman squatting (swish) and the sounds of those "HOLY
MOTHERING CRAP ON A PLATTER" rats squeaking. I suppose the idea behind
the latter is that if they do it enough, Spiderman's ears will implode.
Expose your ears long enough and you, the player, will build up a brain
pimple. And if it pops, you don't want to survive.
As for the music, it's pretty entertaining. It's "GO,
SPIDERMAN!" music. It's not particularly well done, but it's fun and I
suppose that's all that matters.
In fact, here are a couple of MP3s of the main overworld
music:
High quality (1.5 Mb)
Low quality (201 kb)
Groovy, isn't it? Yes, quite. Now that that's behind us, let's continue with the review.
SO, WHAT MAKES IT ENTERTAINING?
Basically, being Spiderman is entertaining enough. You're
not controlling a sprite. You're controlling Spiderman. The familiar name
and the familiar costume suddenly turn this 8-bit little splatter of red,
blue, and black into a man with hopes and dreams and a never-ending quest
to free the city from any and all evil. Of course, like I said earlier;
In this game Spiderman is a fruitcake.
Now, to expand a little further; The explosions.
Everything-everything-explodes! No flames, shrapnel,
or anything realistic. Just random pieces of human flesh flying around.
But it's not just people. Even when you kick down doors
there's a dramatic explosion.
Bang!
And then there are the missiles. After you get hit by
one of these babies, you don't care that you lost health. You want to do
it again!
A bloody missile hit me in the face and exploded into
a brazillion pieces, raining little bits of missile all over the damn place.
What a rush.
Let's see it again.
And again.
The moral to this story:
The player should not, under any circumstances, want
to get hit in the face with a missile!
| GRAPHICS | 6 | / | 10 | |
| SOUND | 4 | / | 10 | |
| GAMEPLAY | 6 | / | 10 | |
| THE MISSILE IN THE FACE | 6 | / | 10 | |
| OVERALL | 6 | / | 10 | 012345678910 |