CRAP
42 Observations About This Comic Ad

PANEL ONE:
1. Who is the first guy talking to?
2. In writing, we have this phrase. A "Rod and Don conversation" where "Rod" tells "Don" something they both already know for the benefit of the reader. Only the worst of the bad stories have them.
3. We got the picture with "We're going to get clean away" You don't have to reiterate.
4. What the hell are those bank robbers wearing?
5. It's a good thing that guy is pointing to the car. Otherwise, that lady wouldn't notice that it's screeching along at 150 mph.
PANEL TWO:
6. Where exactly is the police? Are they having a hard time tracking down two inept crooks in a very bizarre looking car, travelling well over the speed limit on a trafficless street?
7. I know they're the bad guys, but do you think they would intentionally hit random passersby?
8. And if they did, would they take it as a good omen?
9. These morons really do think they've just accomplished something.
10. Mr. Personality here is insulting the guy he just ran over. Classy.
11. Obviously they don't know who the Hulk is, or they would have called him by name, instead of "big ugly guy". So why are they not freaked out about hitting a monstrous green mutant?
12. Why is Hulk standing in the middle of a highway?
13. I'm not sure just how inhumanly strong Hulk is, but in any case he doesn't get a scratch from a head-on collision with a very fast car. Yet the car is not damaged in the slightest from hitting him.
14. Hulk, who are you talking to?
15. Newsflash, Hulk. You're a human!
16. Okay, we can tell Hulk is upset that he was hit by a car. We can tell this, because he was hit by a bloody car. Not only is talking to himself a really bad expositional trick, it's also completely unnecessary.
PANEL THREE:
17. How the ass-blistering hell did the Hulk get in front of the speeding car?
18. Not only that, he managed to change his shorts.
19. "Watch out, we're gonna..." I've lost count of today's brilliant observations.
20. Don't brand name companies have logos on their trucks and not just words?
21. Hulk is holding the truck up by the back end, so its weight isn't centred. Wouldn't the front of it be touching the ground?
PANEL FOUR:
22. And suddenly, the Hulk is wearing his torn purple shorts again.
23. And the big "Hostess Cake" label is smaller. That, or the wheels are suddenly bigger.
PANEL FIVE:
24. They've just lost, and they're going to be in jail for a long time. They should look a little more demoralized and humiliated, not disappointed, like they didn't get to have candy after school.
25. You can't go wrong with a double negative. All crooks use double negatives.
26. He makes prison sound incidental. "Whoops. Guess we're off to the slammer again."
27. Thank you for reminding us of your registered trademark.
28. Prison, people. Ass raping, gross food, forgetting what the sky looks like, and getting beaten by guards and other prisoners. And this guy is talking about how he loves light tender crust and real fruit filling.
29. Not only that, but those words are accented in bold. Like this really is the most important part of the story.
30. Crook number two similarly cares enough to ask what flavour he likes.
31. The car still doesn't look damaged in the slightest.
32. Why don't they just drive away? Their car is full of pies, but it doesn't look like they're held down by anything.
33. If they can't drive away, why not climb out of the car and run?
PANEL SIX:
34. The truck doesn't look damaged either.
35. Hulk happy, but Hulk not turn back into Bruce Banner. Bad Comic. Tom smash!
36. The lettering takes up more of the banner.
36. The yellow "Hostess Pies" banner is completely out of proportion with how it looked in panel four. First it doesn't stretch the entire length of the tire, now it takes up the entire truck. I should feel like a dork for nitpicking about this, but I don't. This is a really stupid error.
37. Are those what the pies look like? They look like big orange turds.
38. Hulk is talking clearly with his mouth full.
39. "A big delight in every bite" Damn you, Hostess, now you're rhyming!
OVERALL:
40. How did those guys rob a bank without a gun? (I'm assuming it's a bank because of the sack with the dollar sign on it)
41. What is the moral to this story? It seems to be that stealing is okay. The crooks stole money. The Hulk stole a truck. All three of them stole a bunch of fruit pies. The crooks are only being punished because they ran down the Hulk.
42. The cops don't show up at all. Witnesses, both at the bank, and along the way will easily describe the purple uniforms and bright yellow gloves. What the hell do they need, a sketch artist?

Hyena rating:
NEGATIVE ONE / FIVE HULKS