That's right, people. The law isn't just for adults anymore. And who better to herald in this new order of order than the State of Arizona? At lawforkids.org they take a hard look at crimes being commited by youth and show you the heart-wrenching truth of what happens when they are commited. How do they do this? In five-panel comics. The number five seems to have been generated by some sort of machine because these comics have absolutely no sense of timing whatsover. Some plots begin and end in three panels and have two "filler" panels thrown in to give you that magical number five.
However, this wouldn't be on this page right now if that was the only problem.
Maybe an illustration would help.

The first time I saw one of these comics I was completely taken aback. I expected some sort of punchline or climax or maybe human characters.

It got weirder, though.

Lucky for that kid, the cop happened to have a helmet, eye protection, and a permission slip in his squad car.

I'll say this. I thank the makers of this site for including a system that visitors can add their own comments to each comment.

Not trying to make this article entirely about me, of course. Some very nice comments submitted from other people on this page:

More fun.

The more I delve into this site the more I become convinced that the people who made this site are heavily into some of the stuff they're trying to dissuade others from using.

This one is great. "Want to see something funny?" He really thinks he accomplished something.
I love the faceless faculty of this school. Notice how this principal has a sign on his desk saying "Principal" but it's facing away from the students? This principal needs a sign to remind him what his job is!
I think by far the weirdest comic however is this one:

There is just so much wrong with this. At first I thought they were speeding, but there's absolutely no indication of them doing anything wrong, and Sergeant Asshole here says that even the passenger gets in trouble.
As a topping on an already amazing cake, the site also has flash cartoons!

"School House Blues"
This one starts with an exterior shot of a small and incredibly ancient looking high school.

You hear the sound of a phone ringing. At the third ring you see an incredibly short man who can barely see over the desk reach over and pick it up.

I don't know about you, but when a phone rings not four inches away from my head it doesn't take me three rings to answer it.
It turns out it's a threat to the school. (Click for mp3)
And best actor award goes to . . . (no need to finish this sentence). The "who is this" part is great enough, but then there's these three lines in quick succession.
"We just had a caller threaten the school. Yes. He said it's in a green camouflage backpack."
I don't know what Officer Michaels said that could be squeezed in those tiny gaps in his speech, but in any case our hero the principal didn't even need to mention what was in the backpack. Officer Michaels just knew. That's how much of a badass cop he is.
To summarize the plot, the principal searches the first camouflage green backpack he finds, and it turns out Kirk has brought a knife to school. Also, it turns out that ol' crazy Marko called in the threat from his cell phone to get out of a math test.
Those lovable scamps.
Of course, the cartoon ends with them both being expelled and facing a large fine and jail time, so everyone wins! Particularly the viewers, who by this time should be shouting "Dats what you git".

"Drag Race Disaster"
Close to half of this whole animation is a repeating animation of three kids grooving along to whatever music they're listening to.

Without actually watching the flash animation, there's no way to actually see how stupid their little head dance is, but for those who don't want to bother loading the whole thing (which is pretty large) I will attempt to describe.
The kid on the very right simply headbangs in a repeating 2-frame animation. Up, down, up, down.
The kid in the middle, with the incredibly worried look on her face tilts her head just slightly back and forth. A good way to describe this is to compare it to a bowling pin that wasn't quite knocked down that wobbles a bit back and forth.
Now, the girl on the left, nods a bit, then turns her head sharply to the opposite side and nods again. Her head is essentially mirrored. Try to imagine a dog watching a game of tennis and you have a good idea of what she's doing.
This basic animation continues for about 17 seconds (I timed it. I may be off by about a half second or so)
Then suddenly the music stops for a closeup on the driver, identified as Chuck. He is holding a bottle of beer in his non-driving hand.
It then goes back to the exact same animation for 7 more seconds.
Then it zooms in on the passenger in the front, who is evidently named Elsie, who has a bottle labelled "Wine cooler".
The animation continues another 7 seconds, before the final passenger, Melissa is introduced, also with a wine cooler in hand.
Then finally, it cuts to the damn chase, and they pull alongside a car at a red light and spontaneously decide to drag race.
A cop happens to show up just as the race starts, which happens a lot in Law For Kids. The cops all seem to always know where everthing is going down all the time.
Chuck drops his beer with a shocked expression on his face and a crash sound is heard.
The last shot of the movie is the three teens riding bicycles. PWNED!

"Beer Trouble"

First, you have to laugh at the lame ripoff poster. However, the one thing that makes this cartoon great is the first opening line. Immediately after picking up, this is the first thing he says.
I was half expecting the next line to be, "Oh . . . Hi, Mom."
As you can expect, they all meet in the middle of a parking garage and start chugging beer. A cop shows up immediately (like usual) and some brilliant dialogue takes place.
There are many things wrong with this. First, he asks for their ID and immediately replies "None of you are twenty-one, the legal drinking age". The idea, as I figure is that they skip over the unimportant part where none of them have ID to show him. Which is odd, considering at least one of them has a fake ID they used to buy the beer.

If you've seen a few of these animations by now, you'll have noticed all of the animation is extremely sluggish. Nobody in Arizona, it seems, does anything very fast. Which may explain why none of these kids try to escape from the single overweight cop. Although I think a slow-walking chase scene would have been the one thing that could possibly make this animation funnier.

"Workplace Woes"

This story is about a young man named Tom (not to be confused with Tommy, who was permanently expelled) who works at the "Take a Taco", which of course is the greatest name for a fast food joint EVER. However, I think you'll notice that they've boarded up the windows to add more advertizing space. So if any vampires out there would like to know the best place to earn minimum wage, move to Arizona!
Another brilliant exchange takes place. Get this. Tom doesn't want to lose his job and his FAT paycheck over YOUR free tacos.

The next day in class (in JOHN Doe High, this time), Tom tells his teacher that his boss makes him punch out before midnight so he can work for two hours in the morning for free, because Arizona has laws against minors working more than three hours on a school night.
The teacher happens to know every law in Arizona, so he tells Tom that what his boss is doing is highly illegal, and he could end up having to pay him for all the hours he missed, plus tens of thousand dollars in fines.
Here I am thinking, if I was Tom (which I am, but not that Tom) I would OWN that place. He was afraid to give those guys free tacos thinking he'd lose his job. That guy could give away all the free tacos he wanted and his boss couldn't do squat. If he got fired, Tom could blow the whistle on him and get him in much greater trouble. Yeah, I got carried away there. The important thing is that Tom has the best comeback ever. "Man, that's not my job, that's just Mr. Finnigan's boring math class." Sweet burn! Oh snap!

"T.P. Spells Trouble"
The more astute of you may have noticed that in fact, T.P. does not spell trouble.
Four kids (one of which was already busted in an earlier toon for underage drinking) decide to toilet paper and egg someone's house.
Now, I'm a bit of a prankster myself, but I've never really gone in for the whole toilet paper or egging prank. I think this is a good example of why. (Click for some great voice acting).
No, you didn't hear wrong. Two hundred and thirty rolls of toilet paper. 230.
Where do these kids get enough money to buy so much toilet paper? Secondly, this isn't a friend of theirs they want to pull this on. It's not an enemy they want to get revenge on. It's a complete stranger. What the hell is the point?

After they're done, someone comes out of the house and shouts "I know who you kids are and I'm calling the police". Why would they wait until they're done? 230 rolls of toilet paper and 10 dozen eggs (which is 120!) would take a very long time to completely use up. They were probably there for hours, just pelting and TPing this stranger's house for no reason other than a few kicks.
The absurdity of these horribly delivered lines is so great, I don't need to make a single comment.

This website has taught me something. It hasn't made me more law-abiding, or more aware of laws in general. What this site has taught me, is some great catch phrases.
Now I can walk around, holding my head up high, and say in a calm, clear voice, "Tommy, you're permanently expelled! Even the passenger gets in trouble"

Hyena rating:
^FIVE / ^{FIVE CRAZY COPS}