August 19, 2004. Tom_D is begging me for more Yahoo! fun. I go searching through chat rooms and I find the following message:

m_shetos85: HEY ANY ONE WANT CHAT WITH EGYPTIAN???

Of course, this is a gold opportunity. I begin with the following:

GaryZeroSixThree: Hi
m_shetos85: HEY
m_shetos85: ASL PLZ??
GaryZeroSixThree: I'm 34/M/Canada
GaryZeroSixThree: You?
m_shetos85: 20/M/EG
m_shetos85: OK?
BUZZ!!!
GaryZeroSixThree: Interesting
GaryZeroSixThree: So what are you up to?
m_shetos85: I WANT MAKE FRIENDSHIP WITH PERSON
m_shetos85: BUT FROM OUT OF EGYPT
GaryZeroSixThree: Well, I'm from out of Egypt. Hi.
m_shetos85: IAM HAPPY TO MEET U
m_shetos85: WHAT IS U WORK??
GaryZeroSixThree: I teach kindergarten
GaryZeroSixThree: Do you like my drawing. My 8-year old son drew it

Note: This is the picture in question:


m_shetos85: PLZ I DONOT UNDERSTAND
m_shetos85: PLZ CAN U UNDERSTAND ME??
GaryZeroSixThree: Yes
GaryZeroSixThree: The picture I have on my profile. My son drew it
m_shetos85: THANKS
m_shetos85: OK
GaryZeroSixThree: I would like you to talk to my wife. She is Deathbrade987
GaryZeroSixThree: She is very interested in Egypt
m_shetos85: THIS PIC IS VERY GOOD
m_shetos85: I HAVE PIC IN MY PROFILE
m_shetos85: U CAN SEE IT
m_shetos85: OK/
m_shetos85: ?
GaryZeroSixThree: I got it now
GaryZeroSixThree: I don't have a picture of myself because my digital camera broke
GaryZeroSixThree: I dropped it out our apartment building and it landed on a cat

I now get Tom_D to play along. Excerpt from Tom's log:

Deathbrade987: hello
m_shetos85: HEY
Deathbrade987: how r u
Deathbrade987: i am very interested in egypt
m_shetos85: THANKS FOR U
Deathbrade987: i assume my husband has told you about me
Deathbrade987: oh and ignore the picture it was drawn by my son :)

Note: This is Tom's pic:


m_shetos85: DID U VISITED EGYPT?
Deathbrade987: many times
Deathbrade987: im more interested in the god aspect of it
m_shetos85: OOOOOOOH U VISITED MY COUNTRY
m_shetos85: WHAT DO U KNOW ABOUT EGYPT??
Deathbrade987: u know my husband
m_shetos85: YA
Deathbrade987: yeah
Deathbrade987: well were no longer living together
Deathbrade987: im living in egypt right now
m_shetos85: ARE U IN EGYPT NOW?
Deathbrade987: duh
m_shetos85: PLZ CAN I SAY TO U SOME THING
m_shetos85: MY ENGLISH IS LITTLE PLZ TRY TO UNDERSTAND ME
m_shetos85: OK?
Deathbrade987: k
m_shetos85: IAM SORRY
Deathbrade987: i am in an egyptian small rural town called.. oh hold on let me remember this
Deathbrade987: the town of set
Deathbrade987: in this town many gunfights are often happening here
Deathbrade987: and the town is named set because there are a certaing group of individuals who worship him
Deathbrade987: you see
Deathbrade987: my son died a year ago from those folowers
Deathbrade987: this picture here is the only thing that
keeps me close to him
m_shetos85: OK
m_shetos85: OK
Deathbrade987: and i decided to write about this place
m_shetos85: OK ITIS VERY GOOD ALTHOUGH I DONOT UNDERSTAND MANY WORDS
Deathbrade987: sorry :)
m_shetos85: IAM SORRY
m_shetos85: WHAT IS U NAME?
Deathbrade987: samantha
m_shetos85: HOW OLD ARE U?
Deathbrade987: 31
m_shetos85: OK
m_shetos85: MY NAME IS MOHAMED
m_shetos85: 20
Deathbrade987: hi mohamed
m_shetos85: OK?
m_shetos85: IAM HAPPY TO MEET U
Deathbrade987: hold on i have to do something for a bit
Deathbrade987: brb

Back to me.
m_shetos85: WHAT IS U NAME??
GaryZeroSixThree: Gary
GaryZeroSixThree: You're talking to my wife?
m_shetos85: YA
m_shetos85: ARE SHE WITH U NOW?
GaryZeroSixThree: No, she isn't. Do you know where she is?
m_shetos85: NO

I tell this to Tom_D and his response is "WTF"

GaryZeroSixThree: She won't tell me
m_shetos85: SHE IS U WIFE U MUST KNOW WHERE IS HER
GaryZeroSixThree: I wish I did. But she said she wanted to find her son a few weeks ago and now I only talk to her when she gets to a computer
GaryZeroSixThree: I'm worried about her
m_shetos85: ARE U LOVE HER?
GaryZeroSixThree: Of course
m_shetos85: SHE LOVES U?
GaryZeroSixThree: I like to hope so
GaryZeroSixThree: I think she still loves me
GaryZeroSixThree: But she's been really strange lately. If she tells you where she is, please let me know
m_shetos85: ARE U LET HER?
m_shetos85: I DONOT KNOW REALLY
BUZZ!!!
GaryZeroSixThree: That's too bad
m_shetos85: WHY?
m_shetos85: ARE U LET U WIFE?
GaryZeroSixThree: I don't understand
m_shetos85: WHY U WIFE IN SOME PLACE AND U IN ANOTHER PLACE?
GaryZeroSixThree: We used to be together
m_shetos85: OK
GaryZeroSixThree: But then she started to get strange
m_shetos85: OK
GaryZeroSixThree: She says she wants to find her son
GaryZeroSixThree: Our son is at my mother's house. I don't understand what she's talking about
m_shetos85: OK
m_shetos85: ARE U WITH ME?
Deathbrade987: what yes
m_shetos85: U SAID TO ME THAT U SON WAS DIED?
Deathbrade987: yes, he's dead
m_shetos85: NO
Deathbrade987: and i miss him ever so much
m_shetos85: NO
Deathbrade987: what!?
m_shetos85: U HUSBUND SAID TO ME THAT U SON IN HIS MOTHER HOUSE
Deathbrade987: NO! HE'S DEAD!
m_shetos85: HE SAID TO ME THAT
Deathbrade987: no he's dead
Deathbrade987: he's been dead for a long time
Deathbrade987: i remember what happened
Deathbrade987: so clearly
m_shetos85: AND SAID THAT U BECAME VERY STRANGE
Deathbrade987: i am fine
Deathbrade987: i am truly fine
Deathbrade987: i have know idea what you're talking about
Deathbrade987: i love my husband
Deathbrade987: and he loves me
m_shetos85: HE SAID THAT HE WANT KNOW WHERE IS U?
m_shetos85: HE SAID TO ME THAT LOVES U
Deathbrade987: i know he loves me
Deathbrade987: i am in egypt
Deathbrade987: my son is dead
Deathbrade987: will always be dead
m_shetos85: ARE U SURE?
Deathbrade987: WHY DON'T YOU JUST UNDERSTAND THAT!?
Deathbrade987: HE'S DEAD!
m_shetos85: OK OK
Deathbrade987: Deathbrade987: WHY DON'T YOU JUST UNDERSTAND THAT!? Deathbrade987: HE'S DEAD! m_shetos85: OK OK

Tom_D accidentally pasted that line in the wrong window. Heh.

m_shetos85: IAM SORRY
Deathbrade987: you've made me worse than before
Deathbrade987: if you hadn't reminded me with these lies
m_shetos85: IAM SORRY
m_shetos85: SORRY
Deathbrade987: sorry can cure nothing
Deathbrade987: i'm off for a glass of water...
m_shetos85: OK
Deathbrade987: i'll be back soon...
m_shetos85: OK
m_shetos85: IAM SORRY
m_shetos85: BUT SHE SAID TO ME THAT HE DIED
m_shetos85: OK??
BUZZ!!!
GaryZeroSixThree: That doesn't make sense. Why would she say that?
m_shetos85: I DONOT KNOW
m_shetos85: SHE SAID TO ME
GaryZeroSixThree: What did she say to you
m_shetos85: SHE SAID THAT U SON WAS DIED
m_shetos85: AND SHE LOVES U
GaryZeroSixThree: That's good
GaryZeroSixThree: I think
GaryZeroSixThree: But I think she's sick. I need to find her and take her to see a doctor.
m_shetos85: OK
m_shetos85: SHE SAID THAT U SON DIED
m_shetos85: AND SHE KNOW ANY THING ABOUT HIS DAYING
GaryZeroSixThree: Ask her where she is
GaryZeroSixThree: Please
m_shetos85: OK
m_shetos85: U HUSBUND WANT TO KNOW U PLACE
m_shetos85: CAN I SAY TO HIM??
m_shetos85: PLZ ANSWER ME
Deathbrade987: Ronald and I went to egypt
Deathbrade987: we're both in egypt
Deathbrade987: gary knows that
Deathbrade987: everyone i know knows that
m_shetos85: OK
Deathbrade987: my son is dead and we are trying to get away from canada
Deathbrade987: why don't you understand that
m_shetos85: I UNDERSTAND
Deathbrade987: no you don't
Deathbrade987: you will never understand
m_shetos85: WHY?
Deathbrade987: why/??
m_shetos85: U WIFE SAID THAT U KNOW THAT SHE IS IN EGYPT
m_shetos85: OK?
GaryZeroSixThree: Holy Crap! Egypt!?
m_shetos85: AND RONALD
GaryZeroSixThree: Who's Ronald?
m_shetos85: I DONOT KNOW
m_shetos85: I CAN ASK HER
m_shetos85: WHO IS RONALD?
Deathbrade987: my brother
m_shetos85: OK
m_shetos85: I UNDERSTAND
Deathbrade987: you can say that but I know truly you are confused
m_shetos85: confused
m_shetos85: ?
Deathbrade987: yes
m_shetos85: WHAT IS confused
m_shetos85: ?
Deathbrade987: when you do not understand something
m_shetos85: HER BROTHER
GaryZeroSixThree: Her brother? She doesn't have any
GaryZeroSixThree: Oh crap
GaryZeroSixThree: I know what's happening. She's had a relapse
GaryZeroSixThree: She had a brother named Ronald who died as a baby when she was 8
GaryZeroSixThree: And our son's 8th birthday was just last month
m_shetos85: I SAID I SPEAK LITTLE ENGLISH
Deathbrade987: he is never
Deathbrade987: ever
Deathbrade987: coming back
m_shetos85: OK?
Deathbrade987: I loved him so much.
m_shetos85: OK
Deathbrade987: don't you care??!?!
m_shetos85: U HUSBUND SAID THAT U BROTHER RONALD DIED
Deathbrade987: he's not dead!
Deathbrade987: my son is!
m_shetos85: WHEN HE WAS CHILD
Deathbrade987: not ronald!
Deathbrade987: no!
Deathbrade987: he's with me!
Deathbrade987: he's with me..
m_shetos85: HE SAID THAT
Deathbrade987: he's with me..
Deathbrade987: he has always been with me
Deathbrade987: i know him so well
GaryZeroSixThree: How am I going to find her in Egypt?
m_shetos85: I DONT KNOW
GaryZeroSixThree: I need to find a city map. How many cities are in Egypt?
m_shetos85: 26
m_shetos85: SHE SAID
m_shetos85: U BROTHER IS ALIFE
GaryZeroSixThree: She's not well
GaryZeroSixThree: Okay, what's the capital of Egypt?
m_shetos85: CAIRO
GaryZeroSixThree: Right. And what are your major imports and exports?
GaryZeroSixThree: Do you have good trade relations with Norway?
m_shetos85: NO
m_shetos85: CAN I SEE U?
Deathbrade987: see me?
m_shetos85: YA
Deathbrade987: what
m_shetos85: SEE U IN CAM
Deathbrade987: you want to see me
Deathbrade987: in cam
Deathbrade987: even though my son is dead
m_shetos85: IAM SORRY
Deathbrade987: and am having alot of stressed emotional problems
Deathbrade987: WHAT THE FUCK IS WRONG WITH YOU!?!?!?
Deathbrade987: im sorry
m_shetos85: IAM SORRY
Deathbrade987: im going for another glass of water
GaryZeroSixThree: Do you have the bomb?
m_shetos85: NO
GaryZeroSixThree: Okay, then there's one thing I must do. I must find a plane and go to Egypt
GaryZeroSixThree: My brother Ronald has a private airplane! I can take that
m_shetos85: PLZ WAIT
m_shetos85: IAM SORRY
m_shetos85: PLZ
m_shetos85: U HUSBUND WANT U IN CANADA
m_shetos85: OK??
Deathbrade987: ok...
Deathbrade987: i feel a bit better now
m_shetos85: HE LOVES U AND NEED U
m_shetos85: PLZ GOTO CANADA
Deathbrade987: i need to stay in egypt
m_shetos85: I SAID TO HERU HUSBUND LOVES U
m_shetos85: AND NEED U
GaryZeroSixThree: I'm going to kill that bitch
m_shetos85: PLZ GOTO CANADA
m_shetos85: BUT SHE REFUSED
GaryZeroSixThree: Hold on, I'm getting a phone call
GaryZeroSixThree: Please wait
Deathbrade987: it's the only place i'm safe in
m_shetos85: WHY?
Deathbrade987: what do you mean why
m_shetos85: WHAT DO U MAKE IN EGYPT?
Deathbrade987: make.. ?
Deathbrade987: i'm reporting..
m_shetos85: OK
Deathbrade987: well, writing
Deathbrade987: journalizing
m_shetos85: BUT U HUSBUND NEED U
Deathbrade987: my sons death is quite troublesome
Deathbrade987: i needed somewhere else to go....
Deathbrade987: no i cant
Deathbrade987: he cant
Deathbrade987: the followers of set i told you about
Deathbrade987: they killed my son
Deathbrade987: and i cant let anyone know im here
Deathbrade987: thats what im writing about
m_shetos85: OK
m_shetos85: WHERE IS U PLACE IN EGYPT??
Deathbrade987: a small rural town called set
Deathbrade987: dangerous place
m_shetos85: OK
m_shetos85: U WIFE IN ASMALL RURAL TOWN
m_shetos85: CALLED SET
m_shetos85: DANGEROUS PLACE
m_shetos85: OK?
m_shetos85: U CAN FIND HER
GaryZeroSixThree: I just got off the phone with her uncle Ronaldo, he says that she's in his house, in Canada, using his computer, and mumbling to herself.
GaryZeroSixThree: I need to go get her. Thanks for talking to her
GaryZeroSixThree: What's going on?
GaryZeroSixThree: The door is missing. This room has no door!
GaryZeroSixThree: Oh no! The bees!
Deathbrade987: i'm back
Deathbrade987: hello
Deathbrade987: are you there
Deathbrade987: i have terrible news
Deathbrade987: ronald died of a heart attack..
Deathbrade987: i'm even more scared as i was before
Deathbrade987: HELLO!?!?
BUZZ!!!
GaryZeroSixThree: They're in my hair
Deathbrade987: don't leave me..
Deathbrade987: i don't want to be alone..
GaryZeroSixThree: I'm so itchy
GaryZeroSixThree: I am in a shampoo commercial

Our Egyptian friend is gone.