Operation: Wall of Walls
Alias:
Agent7734

Background:
The best way to be a jerk in Warcraft II is to piss off your allies, so it needs to be a team game.
How do you piss off your allies? You can attack them, but that means the game ends quickly.
You might cause enough damage that they get frustrated and leave, then no one else will want to play because the teams are uneven. Or you might get wiped out. Or your ally will just say "Player X is BSing. Remake." and then they start the game anew without you, banning you if you come in.
What you want to do is irritate them over a long course of time. The best way to do that? Just be really incompetant. When they see you're not pulling your weight they'll get really upset really quickly. Let's face it. People who play RTS games have little patience. Ever played Starcraft online? As soon as half of the player slots are filled up there will always be at least one player who will spam the chat screen with "GOGOGOGOGOGOGOGOGOGOGOGOGOGOGOGOGOGOGOGO"

Execution:
Under the guise of Agent7734, I joined the first team game I could find and it's not long before a quick 2 on 2 begins.



My ally and I start at opposite corners. This map starts each player with quite a lot of resources, which is good for what I have in mind.
I quickly build a respectable beginning base.



Once I have enough peasants, it's time to put my plan into motion.



Guard Towers. Deadly if used right. Laughably ineffective if used wrong.



It's not long at all before I have a wall of guard towers set up that would kill any normal unit that would wander by my base.



Soon it becomes obvious that one of my farms is in the way of the gold mine and hindering the mining process, so it should be eliminated.



There. Much better.



Once I have enough towers, it's time to start building walls.



My lumber mill and other farms are clearly in the way of my wall-building, so those need to be eliminated as well.



Oh, and my Town Hall. Once it's out of the way, I decide everyone should see my impressive work.



Shared vision on.





One of my enemies finds me (not hard since I showed everyone my location) and begins attacking with ballistas.



It's just as well. My wall is complete. My peasants built it from the outside in, meaning when they were done there was no space to get out.
It seems they continued building walls though it meant their own death.
So now I have no units at all. Only guard towers and walls.







I didn't say anything. I was waiting for someone to call me a noob. Nobody did. Purple kept attacking. The others ignored me.



So I ask my ally for a little assistance. Thought that would probably piss him off if nothing else.



He says "ok"
Weird. Why would I be worth defending? All I have is towers.
Strangely, as soon as he says "ok" the purple player breaks off his attack. For a while.







After a while, he stops again. I window the game and come back several minutes later and I'm still in the same condition.



Oh great.





Teal decides he's had enough and sends in dragons en masse to wipe me out once and for all.





His plan fails. My towers kill all his dragons. That's when he sends in his catapults to finish the job.





If you ever want to piss people off, make them think you're a cheater. "glittering prizes" is a cheat code. It's disabled in multiplayer, but the fact that I was trying to cheat should elicit some animosity.



Still nothing. Oh well.

Result:
Not what I'd call a successful operation, but fun if only for the "what are you doinG?" remark.