BARD'S TALE III: THE THIEF OF FATE
SUMMARY
Unintentional Humour:

    
This would have been a fun entry in the glitches section, but unfortunately he didn't give me any money.

Can you guess what happens if you pick the "Talk to the elder" option?

It really doesn't matter who talks to the elder. He has the same response to any attempts at conversation.


Tee hee.
Disappointments:

Where do I begin?
 The only "stores" I could find were an adventurer's camp, (which allows you to save your game or recruit new team members) a tavern, (where you can buy a drink or talk to the bartender) a shrine, (where the heroes can be healed or revived) and a review board (where you can level up or chat with the most boring man alive). There is absolutely nowhere to buy gear, armour, weapons, magic items, or anything. Plundering bodies is the only way to gain any items at all. This means that all the gold you accumulate is almost completely useless. You can buy beer or pay to have your friends healed and that's about it.
From what I've found so far, there's exactly 4 NPCs. The elder, the bartender, the healing priest, and the evil priest who lets you into the dungeon. None of them are interesting characters in the slightest, with the possible exception of Smiles. When I play RPGs purely for evil purposes, I like to be able to talk to NPCs and berate them for their own stupidity. Example:
"Do you think I could be a good football player?"
"No!"
Zelda games often let you do this, and I wouldn't even strictly call them RPGs.
It's like a trip to the dentist. It happens more quickly, but it's just as painful, and there are no magazines in the waiting room.
I mean, it's not like I don't know what the meaning of life is, but every RPG is supposed to have it somewhere. Even if it's not the real one (which it often isn't)
Fun Glitches:
As was mentioned earlier, you can order a character to attack themself. This is the only fun glitch I could find. I was disappointed.
Things I would have done if I had the time/patience:

The FAQs I read and so on mention that spellcasters can upgrade to become Geomancers, Chronomancers, Archmages, and all sorts of cool classes. This was my only real motivation to do anything in the game, to see what these super classes could do. It wasn't enough.
We all know who the real hero was here. No one said the job of a hero would be easy, but they could have warned him how annoying it would be. I would hate to be a hero in a setting like Skara Brae. Wandering in and out of a dungeon killing one monster at a time, getting a little bit of treasure here and there but have nowhere to spend it, becoming more and more skilled in combat over the course of tireless weeks but with no ultimate avail . . . maybe a 7th penis would have given him the strength to go on, but sadly he could not.
Score:
Malevolent Power Bonus:
Humour Bonus:
Frustration Penalty:
Tom.is.Well.Pleased.Bonus:
 3/10 (I was barely able to do anything evil at all)
6/10 (A few humourous things happened)
-10 (If I wasn't using an emulator it would have taken me a year to play as far as I did.)
6/20 (I was not well pleased)

Total Rating: 5/40

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