THE SIMS
PAGE 2
The adventures of the Shoe family begin. It is clear they do not fully
understand their destiny.
The first thing Ying and Space Retard do is walk straight into the
bathroom and recoil in disgust that there is a garbage can in there.

The youngest of the Shoes sits down and watches some TV. Wilma joins
her. Ying instead opts to sit and read his newspaper at the dining room
table. Then he repeats a process three times where he gets up, places
the newspaper down on the table, then picks it back up and sits in a
different chair and begins reading it again.
The school bus pulls up and for a moment the young student ignores it.
But somehow, she dutifully removes herself from the TV and makes it out
to the school bus before it leaves. I find myself surprised that a girl
named Space Retard values education, but I digress.
The Shoes' first visitors arrive. Ronald and Barbara of the Buttblast
family. Wilma and Ying go out and greet their neighbours. Then
something inexplicable happens. Barbara slaps Ying in the face. No
reason is known for this sudden outburst. Like Deus Ex Machina,
Fartfart of the Fodders walks by, presumably to lend his detective
skills to the crime that has just happened.

Then, he continues on without a single word. Ying quietly returns to
the indoors while Wilma continues to chat.
Ronald exhibits some more strange behaviour, giving his wife a massage
out in the middle of the street.

Wilma seems to be at a loss for words, so she walks into the house. The
neighbours invite themselves in as well.
Barbara corners Ying and begins talking with him. She tells a joke to
break the ice. Ying seems to enjoy this joke and laughs. Then,
inexplicably, Barbara slaps him. Again.

Ying Shoe takes a moment to cry.
As if these neighbours were not weird enough, things escalate.
Ronald tries to give his new female neighbour a massage, right in front
of his wife. Things don't go too well, and Wilma fumes at him.

They argue for a bit, then Wilma turns her back on him. Big mistake. He
tries to give her a backrub again.

At this point Ying makes some food. Everyone momentarily forgets their
strife and takes a moment to grab something to eat. Yes, after all
that, the Buttblasts simply help themselves to the Shoe's food,
unashamed.
Our local hero, Suave Creamsoda shows up at the right moment to simmer
the situation.

As Suave arrives hot on the scene, Ronald attempts a THIRD time to give
Wilma a back rub, whilst Barbara is still helping herself to food.

Barbara goes outside to talk to Ying (who's still there from letting in
Suave) and teases him. He takes it in good humour and a bit of a bond
is build between the two of them at last. Barbara insults him. He cries
again.

This Barbara woman has again and again spat in the face of my chosen
people. As the player, and by default the Shoe family's personal deity,
my will must be done.

So after Space Retard comes home and has a nice little chat with Suave
about kittens, I order Ying to walk upstairs to the dungeon and call
Barbara up. She obeys. I then order him to go back downstairs, and I
use my divine power to construct a wall.

Now, I decide I must determine the appropriate punishment.
My first thought is to start a fire.

I start with a torch. Then I quickly add flammable objects.

I leave her to her own devices and go downstairs to see how everyone's
doing. Everyone's great in fact, now that she seems to be out of the
way. Ying compliments Wilma, they both have a laugh. Wilma complains
she needs to go to the bathroom, and it turns out my earlier crack was
eerily correct and in fact I did forget to put toilets in the house. So
I remedy that.
Everyone in the house takes a moment to enjoy their three shiny new
toilets. Nothing much happens for a while. Suave peruses the master
bathroom while Rupahl comes for a visit.

Barbara takes a moment to wonder where the door is in her new
residence, but otherwise seems to enjoy standing there.
I decide to provide her with a chair. Sure, I'm going to kill her, but
I might as well be civilized about it. Moments later she pees on the
floor.
Ahh. Excellent. The first mark of agony in my dungeon. Let all who are
to be made to suffer within these castle walls smell the pee of she who
was known as Barbara. She wanders a lot, looking for a door. I decide
that the fire I wanted is not coming fast enough, so I build a
fireplace and a couple of garbage cans.
She falls asleep on the floor.

After the family all go to sleep, she gets up early in the morning and
wanders around looking for a door, then eventually goes back to sleep
again.
Things are still not progressing fast enough so I quickly build a door
while she's asleep, and have Ying build a fire in the fireplace and
then leave. I destroy the door, and leave her there asleep with an
unattended fire.
It's not long before Saucy comes visiting, and as such, Ying is too
enthralled to think about the fire he's built and soon it all proceeds
as I have foreseen.
Well, not quite. The fires build, but Barbara scarcely does anything
except wake up, complain about not being able to get a good sleep, then
wanders around until the fire burns itself out (and burns up the pee
stain I was so thrilled about)
Okay, fine, but at least now I know what needed to be done.

I build walls around her, built another fireplace, surrounded her with
garbage cans, then went about the other tasks of the house. Since
hitting on Saucy didn't work, I thought maybe Ying should get to know
his own wife for a change.
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