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Once upon a time there was a woodsman named Alan the Chivalrous, who was known throughout the land for his bravery.
One day, Neon the rogue came to him from a far off land and said to him, "Stout Alan the Chivalrous, legends of your muscles are known far and wide. I beseech you to help me save my neighbour, Joan, who has been imprisoned in a golden meadow by a chimaera."
Alan the Chivalrous heard that Joan was a chest-a-licious reasonably-good witch and said, "Right after I finish slaying this beholder."
Soon, he found himself stumped.
"How will I find Joan?" cried Alan. But Neon the rogue was distracted by a battle with a greater balrog and couldn't answer.
"I can help you find her," said a talking wolf, "but first you must find one of the silver clovers, for you see, I am very old and if I do not find it, my phoenix will be turned into a flock of pigeons."
Alan set out the next morning.
Alan climbed the watery wall of difficulty, braved the hidden dungeons of Ra, the sun god, nearly died transversing the really boring desert and proved his karma to the Dragons of Vigilance, and finally was rewarded with one of the silver clovers.
"Thank you," said Alan's new friend. To show his thanks, he teleported Alan and Neon the rogue to the golden meadow where Joan awaited.
No sooner had they arrived, than the chimaera leapt out and screamed.
"Plug your ears," said Neon the rogue. "Because the chimaera's voice will put you under a curse that will force you take up kitting."
Alan did so, but it was Neon the rogue who fell to the chimaera's power. And then died of rapid, uncontrollable mitosis.
"No! Not you, Neon the rogue! You were truly a brave companion," Alan lamented.
Luckily, Alan knew the chimaera's one weak spot and stabbed him in the glowing red spot on his chest with Joan's hat.
"This can't be happening!" the chimaera said as he turned into a nice old man.
The next day, Alan and Joan were brought before the king.
"Alan the Chivalrous, I hereby bestow you with the power of dance," and waved his royal sceptre over Alan covering him in glowing sparkles.
Alan said, "The world will remember Neon the rogue's sacrifice. I will build a statue in his name, made of the finest wood."

And they lived happily ever after.

The End.

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