Tom White
(ADDRESS FILTERED)
(I DON'T TRUST YOU INTERNET BASTARDS)
Shurkama@farts.com
| Objective |
To earn money towards the construction of the world's largest shampoo
museum in space, complimented with the only laser giant enough to destroy
the Olsen twins.
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| Education |
O. S. S. D. Diploma
Mail-order degree in Kung Fu
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| Work experience |
4003 - 4009 Star Base M-71
Professor Turbo's Elite Time Commando
• Destroyed the evil Dr. Bram VonEvildeth and his trusted
Lieutenant, Joe.
• Saved the universe a couple of times.
• Learned how to use a super-turbo beam gun. But I don't
have it with me because I conveniently left it behind in the future.
1998-2001 Microsoft Headquarters in its discreet hidden location
Bill Gates
• I assumed the identity of Microsoft CEO Bill Gates for
three years.
• Meanwhile, he was the king of a small island near Fiji
• He barely escaped with his life after he angered the
natives
• However, the computers he introduced to their unique
infrastructure are now worshipped as gods.
1986-present Brampton
Master Ninja
• By day, a mild-mannered nerd; My identity is unsuspected
to the hapless drones of Brampton's suburban community.
• By night, I dress in black and roam the streets beating
up prostitutes.
• My flying kick can take me over the walls of large buildings
and reduce my neighbour's tool shed to small wooden shards.
1936-1938 Bermuda Triangle
Kraken
• I was bestowed with inhuman strength, enabling me to
eat young women and unwary sailors.
• My tentacles of death engulf all.
• My hideous shrieks deafen my foes and signal my undersea
minions to attack. |
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