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Extracurricular
activities
 
 
Drywall Academy of Minneapolis

Canadian Armed Forces, butt-blaster's division

I'm one of those bikini women on The Price is Right that feel up all the merchandise
 

Summer jobs  
1999 Pokemon Land, Winnepeg
Pikachu Mascot
•   Beat up the little kids who laugh at me.
•   Have to say the word "Pika" all bloody day.
•   Throw rocks at the Squirtle mascot when he's not looking.
 
1997 Order of the Eternal Spoon, Toronto
Cult Leader
•   Had sex with every female member of the cult.
•   Also had sex with nine men, but that was an accident.
 
1994 Citadel of the Twilight Pickle, Greenland
Criminal Mastermind
•   It is I who allowed the Alliance to know the location of the shield 
   generator. 
•   Your planet is doomed! Doomed!
•   Muahahahahahahahahahaha!
•   You are on the way to destruction!
•   Ha ha ha ha . . .
 
Accreditations and licenses  
 
C64 penis license
CO2 permit to be an asswipe
I have diplomatic immunity in Peru