It was finally here! The Doom Guys Food-Eating and Teddy Bear Picnic featuring John Romero!
"I'mmmm dreaming of aa greeeeen pic-nicc!" John Romero sang. Yes, he even sounded like Frank
Sinatra. Cool, huh? I didn't know he could do that.
Hyena and Julian and AirRaid and SoM and Fredrik and Isle and Cyb and SargeBaldy and Nanami
and Torn were all there!
Hyena had a grilled lettuce and 3-pound beef sandwich. And everyone watched him eat. Two
days later he died of clogged arteries, unless he went back in time and never ate the
sandwich in the first place. Actually, I think that's what happened.
Torn was eating a big bowl of chicken soup. And then he ate the bowl!
Then a big boulder landed in the middle of the picnic. How curious.
"Oh, fuck," said Bloodshedder.
It was the best picnic ever.
John Romero then acted like a ballerina and destroyed all of the guests with his ballerina
kung-fu and landed gracefully on Fredrik's severed head. Squish.
Naturally, this made Hyena angry. So he ran home.
But Julian's gansta-rap kung-fu gave him the advantage he needed to defeat the evil Romero.
But he lost. Isle and Cyb merged into Cysle, the ultimate fighting robot and then they were
beaten by the evil Romero and were forced to live a dual life for sixty more years until
they died of a tragic meat-slapping accident.
AirRaid turned into the world's most incredible bowling ball. But he got a seven-ten split
and he was so upset he forgot all about evil Romero. SoM died too somehow.
That's when good Romero came and challenged the evil Romero.
"Oh, fuck," said Bloodshedder.
What will happen next?

To see good Romero defeat evil Romero, turn to page 96
To see evil Romero win, turn to page 112
To see evil Romero learn his lesson and only do good, turn to page 134
To see good Romero mutate into a giant Mantis that destroys Nebraska, turn to page -4