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WARNING
There was a time when making a
video game meant little more than having
a basic understanding of a programming language and a day or two to
work on it. When I was in grades three to five, I was making really
crappy commodore 64 games in my bedroom. At the time, I think the
difference between me and some
people who actually made games for a living was simply that they had
money, contacts, and persistence enough to get their games published.
At some point in history, games stopped being made by a handful of
people in a basement and started being made by big companies. As such,
most games these days have a certain amount of sense. Companies have
marketing divisions and will usually be able to tell that a game where
you hunt down aliens with hi-tech weaponry will strike more of a chord
with players than a game where you control a shirtless kung fu master
that beats up ninjas and green sumo wrestlers in a brightly coloured
arena full of conveyor belts.
I theorize that there was a point in which two friends could get stoned
in their basement, fire up their computer, and program whatever messed
up thoughts passed into the remaining portion of their mind. They could
make it into a video game and it would end up on store shelves, a feat
which just isn\'t as possible today.
I
think that point ended in 1996, which is the year that Mario 64
came out.
Most of the games pictured and depicted here came out before 1996 and
are often
the results of strange cultural differences (particularly from Japan),
and/or what I think may have been some extremely potent illegal
substances. What you are about to witness may shock or disturb you, and
maybe make you laugh. Prolonged exposure to these games may cause
strain on a single eyebrow from repeated raising and lowering. In some
cases you
may be unable to stop uttering "What the hell?" for several hours after
you leave
this page.
You have been warned.
CLICK TO ENTER